(With deepest apologies to the great Paul Simon.)
"50 Ways to Dump Lane Kiffin"
"The problem is right there on the field," she said to me.
The answer is easy if you look at Marquise Lee
I'd like to help you in your struggle to go deep
There must be 50 ways to dump Lane Kiffin
She said it's really not my habit to intrude
But I can't watch this team go down again behind this dude.
So I'll repeat myself, at the risk of being crude
There must be 50 ways to dump Lane Kiffin
You just buy off the deal, Neal
Raise a little cash, Flash
Maybe skimp on the snacks, Max
Just get the team free
Throw him under the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just tell him to scat, Pat
And get yourself free
She said it grieves me so to see Lee in such pain
I wish there was something I could do to make him score again
I said I appreciate that
And would you please explain about the 50 ways
She said why don't we both just blog on it tonight
And I believe in the morning you'll begin to see the light
Then she said "Fight On", and I realized she probably was right
There must be 50 ways to dump Lane Kiffin
50 ways to dump Lane Kiffin
You just buy off the deal, Neal
Raise a little cash, Flash
Maybe skimp on the snacks, Max
Just get the team free
Throw him under the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just tell him to scat, Pat
And get yourself free